Setting goals without considering your values and goals that truly matter to you is like trying to navigate without a compass. Most people fail to achieve their objectives not because they lack discipline, but because they pursue targets that don't actually resonate with their core beliefs. When your goals align with what genuinely matters to you, motivation flows naturally rather than requiring constant willpower.
In fact, research shows that goals aligned with personal values are 80% more likely to be achieved than those that aren't. This concept, known as "self-concordance," explains why some people seem effortlessly motivated while others struggle with the same objectives. Consequently, understanding how to identify your true values and connect them to your goals becomes essential for lasting success.
This guide walks you through a proven process to discover your core values and create goals that authentically reflect them. You'll learn why traditional goal-setting often fails, how to identify what truly matters to you, and specific steps to ensure your ambitions and values work together rather than against each other.
Why Most Goals Fail to Stick
Despite our best intentions, research shows that approximately 80% of people never set goals for themselves, and of those who do, roughly 70% fail to achieve them. Understanding why goals crumble before completion provides valuable insights into creating objectives that actually stick.
They lack personal meaning
Goals without personal significance often become mere items on a to-do list. Studies reveal that when objectives don't align with your core values and deepest needs, they're hard to sustain. This misalignment creates what psychologists call "tunnel vision," where you focus solely on achievement without considering if the goal genuinely matters to you.
The disconnect between who you are and what you're pursuing transforms potentially inspiring goals into mental prisons. Furthermore, without a strong emotional connection to your objectives, motivation naturally wanes after the initial excitement passes. This explains why many New Year's resolutions dissolve by February—they often represent what we think we should do rather than what truly resonates with our authentic selves.
They are driven by external pressure
Goals fueled by external expectations or societal pressure create a fundamentally different psychological experience than those driven by internal desires. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology demonstrates that goals driven by fear or external pressures significantly hinder inner motivation.
Instead of providing sustainable energy, externally motivated goals generate anxiety and resistance. Additionally, studies show that controlled goal motives predict threat appraisals and disengagement coping, ultimately becoming negative predictors of persistence. The internal conflicts or external pressures associated with such motivation become mentally draining, leaving fewer resources available when facing inevitable challenges.
Many people unconsciously pursue achievements not for personal growth, but to prove others wrong or quiet their fears of failure. This pattern creates chronic stress that can lead to burnout and decreased life satisfaction.
They ignore emotional and mental readiness
Even well-intentioned goals can falter when they don't account for psychological readiness. Many people let questions and doubts paralyze them before taking their first step. Others sabotage their progress through perfectionism—waiting for ideal conditions that never materialize.
Mental barriers like fear of failure, lack of self-belief, or unworthiness often operate beneath conscious awareness. These subconscious beliefs, typically formed during childhood, influence behavior without our knowledge and can silently undermine our best efforts.
The stress response triggered by pursuing misaligned goals also impacts physical capacity. Studies show that threat appraisals in motivated situations limit cardiovascular function and decrease energy. Moreover, such appraisals diminish psychological states, impair concentration, and heighten perceptions that tasks are overly difficult.
Understanding these common pitfalls creates the foundation for developing goals that genuinely align with your values, harness intrinsic motivation, and respect your psychological readiness—essential elements for creating objectives that genuinely stick.
Understanding Self-Concordant Goals
The concept of self-concordance offers a powerful framework for understanding why some goals energize us while others drain our motivation. Unlike conventional goal-setting approaches that focus primarily on outcomes, self-concordant goals connect deeply with who we truly are.
What makes a goal self-concordant
Self-concordant goals are defined as objectives that align closely with an individual's intrinsic interests and core values. These goals represent your genuine interests, passions, and identity, stemming from what truly matters to you rather than external pressures or obligations. Essentially, they form part of your authentic self, motivating and inspiring action in ways that externally-imposed goals cannot.
Researchers measure self-concordance by evaluating the "perceived locus of causality" (PLOC) behind goal pursuit. This assessment examines whether your motivation comes from:
- External reasons: "Because others want you to" or "to get something from someone"
- Introjected reasons: "Because you'd feel ashamed if you didn't"
- Identified reasons: "Because you believe it's an important goal"
- Intrinsic reasons: "Because of the fun and enjoyment the goal provides"
The more your goals align with the latter two categories, the higher their self-concordance. Following, goals with higher self-concordance originate from your authentic desires rather than external pressures.
The difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation
Understanding self-concordant goals requires grasping the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation emerges from within—you engage in activities because you find them inherently satisfying or enjoyable. The behavior itself becomes its own reward.
Conversely, extrinsic motivation comes from outside forces—you pursue activities to earn rewards or avoid punishments. According to Self-Determination Theory, these motivations exist on a continuum from purely external (completely controlled by outside factors) to internal (fully aligned with personal values).
Intrinsic and extrinsic motivations interact in complex ways. Sometimes they work together harmoniously, yet in other situations, external rewards can actually diminish intrinsic motivation—a phenomenon known as the "undermining effect". This occurs particularly when rewards make activities feel like obligations rather than choices.
Why self-concordant goals lead to better outcomes
The pursuit of self-concordant goals creates numerous positive effects on wellbeing and achievement. Research consistently demonstrates that people pursuing self-concordant goals:
- Put more sustained effort into achieving their goals
- Experience greater well-being from goal attainment
- Feel more autonomous motivation throughout the process
- Develop more positive emotions and higher satisfaction
- Build greater resilience when facing obstacles
These benefits occur primarily because self-concordant goals satisfy fundamental psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness. When goals align with your values, the daily activities required to achieve them become naturally fulfilling rather than draining.
Furthermore, pursuing self-concordant goals creates an "upward spiral" effect on wellbeing. As you make progress, you experience greater authenticity and positive emotions, which subsequently fuel additional motivation and effort. This virtuous cycle reinforces your sense of purpose and personal growth.
Choosing self-concordant goals represents a skill that requires self-awareness and resistance against societal pressures that might guide you toward misaligned paths. Nevertheless, through deliberate reflection on your core values and true interests, you can identify goals that genuinely resonate with your authentic self.
Discovering Your Core Values
Uncovering your core values requires introspection and self-awareness, yet this process yields powerful insights that form the foundation for meaningful goals. Knowing what you truly value helps guide decisions, provides clarity during challenging times, and creates a sense of purpose that propels you forward.
How to identify what truly matters to you
First and foremost, identifying your core values involves looking beyond surface-level preferences to discover the principles that consistently guide your actions. One effective approach is examining your past experiences—particularly moments when you felt genuinely fulfilled or deeply dissatisfied. These peak experiences often reveal what you inherently value.
To begin with, consider times when you felt most aligned and confident in your choices. What was happening during those moments? Similarly, reflect on situations that left you feeling frustrated or unfulfilled. The contrast between these experiences typically highlights values that are essential to your wellbeing.
Another revealing method involves thinking about people you admire. The qualities you respect in others often mirror values you hold dear but may not have fully recognized in yourself. As psychologist Steven Hayes suggests, "Identifying the specific values embodied by your heroes can inspire you to adopt those values for yourself."
Questions to uncover your values
Asking yourself targeted questions creates clarity around what truly matters to you. Consider these thought-provoking inquiries:
- What would your ideal day look like, and what values does it represent?
- What moments in your life have felt most meaningful, and why?
- What makes you feel angry or upset when it's missing from your life?
- How do you want to be remembered by others?
- What activities make you lose track of time because you're so engaged?
As you answer these questions, look for recurring themes rather than surface-level responses. For instance, if you consistently mention creativity in different contexts, this likely represents a core value rather than just a casual interest.
Common value categories to consider
Values typically cluster into recognizable categories that help organize your thinking. Specifically, these might include:
Personal growth values: Learning, creativity, wisdom, curiosity, challenge Relationship values: Family, friendship, community, belonging, intimacy Character values: Honesty, courage, loyalty, integrity, authenticity Achievement values: Success, mastery, recognition, wealth, influence Wellbeing values: Health, balance, spirituality, peace, adventure
Ultimately, the ideal number of core values to focus on ranges between 5 and 10, with experts recommending staying closer to 5 for better clarity and focus. Above all, remember that values aren't selected; they're discovered through thoughtful reflection on what truly matters to you.
In essence, this discovery process isn't about choosing perfect-sounding values but rather identifying principles that authentically guide your life. Once clarified, these values become powerful tools for creating goals that resonate deeply with who you are.
How to Set Goals That Match Your Values
Now that you understand the importance of values-based goals, let's transform this knowledge into practical action. Creating objectives that genuinely reflect what matters to you requires a systematic approach that connects your deepest values with your daily actions.
Step 1: Write down your goals
The simple act of writing down your goals dramatically increases your chances of achieving them. Research shows people who vividly describe their goals in written form are 1.2 to 1.4 times more likely to successfully accomplish them than those who don't. This happens through two psychological processes: external storage (having a visual reminder) and encoding (improving how your brain processes the information). Writing helps you remember important details while filtering out less relevant information, making your mind more efficient.
Step 2: List your top values
After identifying your goals, create a separate list of your core values—those non-negotiable principles that guide your life decisions. Examples might include creativity, honesty, health, freedom, or service. Limit this list to 5-7 values to maintain focus. Remember that these should be your authentic values, not what others expect of you or what society deems important.
Step 3: Check alignment between goals and values
Once both lists are complete, it's time to evaluate how well your goals reflect your values. For each goal, honestly ask yourself:
- Does this goal reflect my core values?
- Is this truly my goal, or influenced by someone else's expectations?
- Will achieving this goal make me feel fulfilled, or just busy?
- Does this goal align with the life I want long-term?
- Am I excited by this goal, even if it's challenging?
Step 4: Adjust goals to better reflect your values
Based on your alignment check, revise or eliminate goals that conflict with your values. Replace them with objectives that feel more meaningful and authentic. Sometimes this means completely abandoning certain goals—which isn't failure, but clarity. Other times, it simply requires adjusting your approach or motivation behind the goal to better serve your values.
Step 5: Break goals into actionable steps
Finally, transform your aligned goals into specific, achievable actions. Apply the SMART framework (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) to ensure each goal ties back to your core values. Then break these down into smaller tasks—what specific action can you take this week toward your goal? Schedule these actions and commit to them. This transforms abstract intentions into concrete steps that gradually move you toward living a values-aligned life.
Staying Aligned and Motivated Over Time
Creating values-aligned goals is just the beginning of your journey. Maintaining that alignment throughout life's inevitable changes requires intentional practices that keep you connected to what matters most.
Track your progress regularly
Schedule periodic check-ins—monthly or quarterly—to review your progress and ensure your goals still align with your values and current circumstances. These regular assessments help you recognize when you're drifting off course and allow for timely adjustments. Research shows that people who tracked their small achievements every day enhanced their motivation. Consider using a journal, spreadsheet, or app to document your journey, as crossing items off a list can be a reward itself.
Revisit your values as life changes
Values aren't static; they evolve as you grow and experience life. Your core values might shift as you heal from past wounds or develop new perspectives. For instance, what once felt like "connection" might evolve into a deeper value like "authenticity". Hence, reassessing your values periodically ensures your goals remain meaningful as you change. This adaptability isn't weakness—it's growth.
Celebrate small wins
Recognizing small achievements creates powerful psychological benefits. Accomplishing even modest goals releases dopamine, which boosts your mood, motivation, and attention. This creates a positive feedback loop, making tough tasks feel rewarding and keeping you on track. Remember that progress isn't linear—celebrating small steps acknowledges that long-term achievement happens through consistent effort.
Be flexible with your path, not your purpose
The path to your values-aligned goals rarely follows your initial plan. Studies show that flexibility in your approach leads to higher achievement and greater satisfaction. Being adaptable about your methods while remaining committed to your values allows you to navigate setbacks without abandoning your purpose. Ultimately, this resilience is what transforms temporary obstacles into opportunities for deeper alignment with what truly matters to you.
Conclusion
Setting goals that truly align with your values transforms what might otherwise be a frustrating exercise into a fulfilling journey. Throughout this guide, we've seen how goals disconnected from personal values often fail despite our best intentions. Instead, self-concordant goals—those that genuinely reflect who you are and what matters most to you—create sustainable motivation and significantly higher chances of success.
Your values serve as an internal compass, guiding decisions and providing clarity when faced with competing priorities. Therefore, taking time to identify these core principles before establishing goals becomes essential rather than optional. This deliberate approach helps you avoid the common pitfalls of pursuing externally motivated objectives that drain energy instead of generating it.
The five-step process outlined earlier provides a practical framework anyone can apply: writing down potential goals, listing your top values, checking alignment between them, making necessary adjustments, and breaking aligned goals into actionable steps. This systematic method ensures your efforts move you toward a life that feels authentically yours.
Life inevitably changes, though, and so might your values. Regular check-ins allow you to maintain alignment between your evolving self and your objectives. Additionally, celebrating small wins creates positive momentum while remaining flexible about your methods—but not your purpose—builds resilience against inevitable setbacks.
The true power of values-aligned goals extends beyond simple achievement. These goals foster greater well-being, deeper satisfaction, and a sense of authenticity often missing from conventional goal-setting approaches. After all, success feels hollow when reached at the expense of what truly matters to you.
Start today by examining one goal you're currently pursuing. Does it genuinely reflect your values, or does it represent someone else's expectations? Making even small adjustments toward greater alignment can dramatically change your experience and results. Remember that the path to meaningful achievement begins with honoring who you truly are.
